The other day I tried a new recipe. I made chili verde. It was a tasty combination of shredded pork, green chilis, green enchilada sauce, onions, tomatoes, and a variety of spices. All in the instant pot, and an hour later it’s done. Perfect for a cold winter night. The only problem was, I was the only one who seemed to like it.
When we had leftovers night a few nights later, I was the only one who chose to have the chili verde. I noted how it was particularly good the second time around—the flavors had developed even more as it had time sit in the refrigerator.
In fact, I liked it so much this second time that I began thinking about having it again. There was just a bit remaining, so as I tucked it away in the refrigerator in a small leftover container, I thought about how it would make a wonderful lunch the next day.
The next morning, about mid-morning, my stomach started growling. Breakfast wasn’t lasting—I thought I might need a snack. But then I remembered the chili verde. And I smiled. And I knew something good was coming. And I decided to pass on a snack so I could enjoy the chili verde even more when lunch came around. Just the thought of enjoying that chili verde sustained me through the morning. Made me smile every time I thought about it.
But then lunch came. And I opened the fridge. And I went to grab the chili verde. Only…I couldn’t find it. I knew it was in there—I had put it there myself. I wondered if maybe it had gotten hidden behind some of the other leftovers, so I took most things out of the fridge and I searched each shelf carefully. No chili verde.
Then I had an unsettling thought—perhaps one of my daughters had taken the chili verde for their school lunch. But that couldn’t be…they didn’t even like the chili verde. I checked the leftover cornbread we had served with it. It too was gone! I begrudgingly made myself a sandwich and began plotting what to say to my daughter when she returned home from school.
When questioned upon her arrival, she didn’t even try to hide it. Yes, she had taken the chili verde. It was “not too bad,” she said. But why? Why would you do such a thing when you didn’t really even like the chili verde? When you knew there was a someone in the house who had a craving for chili verde? Someone—me—who was looking forward to eating the chili verde?
“Well,” came the explanation. “It was easier than making a sandwich.” Oof. I missed out on my chili verde because eating it was easier than making a sandwich.
I’ve learned to not hold things too tightly in this household. If I do, it’s liable to lead to disappointment. It’s just part of living with four other people. It’s not that they have things in for me or are trying to make my life miserable—it’s more that things don’t always go my way and I can’t always expect everything to go the way I want them to. Indeed, I’m actually kind of glad my daughter enjoyed the chili verde. It’s far more interesting culinary-wise than a sandwich, and it shows a willingness to try different foods—even ones she might not have liked all that much the first time. It makes me happy to see that adventurous spirit, even if it was adventure rooted in a matter of convenience. And it reminds me once again to put other people’s needs before my own. To set aside my own wants for the flourishing of others. To look to the interests of others, as Philippians 2:4 says. It just would have been far easier to deal with my disappointment if she hadn’t admitted that there was actually enough left for two. That she would have had plenty if she had just brought half of it and left some behind for me.
This has had me thinking quite a bit about the Christian life. We sometimes think that God owes us. That since we’ve given our lives to God, since we’ve made sacrifices for God, since we’ve been good and obedient and maybe even missed for God’s sake opportunities we would have liked to pursue—God owes it to us to make life easy for us. To give us a break or two along the way. We may even sometimes have our hearts set on something, and then it feels like it gets taken away from us at the last moment.
And then when things are hard, or life doesn’t turn out how we envisioned it would, or something devastating happens to us, or we miss out on something we had our heart set on, we get angry with God. We feel God has let us down somehow or we question whether God even exists or if God loves us. But God never promises that things will go well for us or that life will be easy. In fact, Jesus tells in Matthew 5 and Luke 6 to consider it pure joy when things are hard for us—when people persecute us or ridicule us for following Jesus. That means that it’s actually quite likely that life is going to hard sometimes. And it’s not difficult to look at the early church and see this playing out. Paul in Romans 5 tells us that we glory in our sufferings because suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And that hope, Paul says, does not put us to shame. But to produce that hope, there will be suffering. There will be disappointment—at least it will seem like disappointment in the moment.
So even if we are suffering, even if life is hard, even if we are facing disappointment and the desires of our hearts are falling through our fingers, we must not give up hope. We won’t always know why God allows bad things to happen to us, but we do know God loves us. We know God loves us just by looking at Jesus and all God has done for us. And with God’s love in our hearts, we can endure all things. Even life without chili verde.
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