Wednesday, April 20, 2022

Poems for Holy Week and the Week After

These are some poems that have been on my mind the last couple of weeks. The first two came to mind during our Palm Sunday service. I thought of Mary Oliver’s poem when Jay mentioned in his sermon how difficult it is to get a donkey to do anything it doesn’t want to do. And I thought of George Herbert’s poem as we received communion that morning – God’s love made edible, Jesus’ life poured out that we might know forgiveness. The last poem, by Barbara Holmes, may be less familiar than the others. I saw it on social media last spring, soon after another shooting death, and it came to mind again this week as I sit with Jesus’ words of blessing for those who have not seen but have still believed (John 20:29).

The Poet Thinks About the Donkey

On the outskirts of Jerusalem
the donkey waited.
Not especially brave, or filled with understanding,
he stood and waited.

How horses, turned out into the meadow,
   leap with delight!
How doves, released from their cages,
   clatter away, splashed with sunlight.

But the donkey, tied to a tree as usual, waited.
Then he let himself be led away.
Then he let the stranger mount.

Never had he seen such crowds!
And I wonder if he at all imagined what was to happen.
Still, he was what he had always been: small, dark, obedient.

I hope, finally, he felt brave.
I hope, finally, he loved the man who rode so lightly upon him,
as he lifted one dusty hoof and stepped, as he had to, forward.


- Mary Oliver

Love III

LOVE bade me welcome; yet my soul drew back,
            Guilty of dust and sin.
But quick-eyed Love, observing me grow slack
            From my first entrance in,
Drew nearer to me, sweetly questioning
            If I lack’d anything.

‘A guest,’ I answer’d, ‘worthy to be here:’
            Love said, ‘You shall be he.’
‘I, the unkind, ungrateful? Ah, my dear,
            I cannot look on Thee.’
Love took my hand and smiling did reply,
            ‘Who made the eyes but I?’

‘Truth, Lord; but I have marr’d them: let my shame
            Go where it doth deserve.’
‘And know you not,’ says Love, ‘Who bore the blame?’
            ‘My dear, then I will serve.’
‘You must sit down,’ says Love, ‘and taste my meat.’
            So I did sit and eat.

-       George Herbert

 

Joy Unspeakable

erupts when you least expect it;

when the burden is greatest,

when the hope is gone

after bullets fly.

It rises

on the crest of impossibility,

it sways to the rhythm

of steadfast hearts,

and celebrates

what we cannot see.

 

-       Barbara A Holmes

Wednesday, April 13, 2022

Praying in the Garden

I’ve been re-reading the book Unfettered: Imagining a Childlike Faith… by Mandy Smith, and this section caught my attention again. (I think I may have quoted the first part in a sermon or midweek reflection when I read the book before, this time the second part is what caught me):

‘Celebrating what God can do without knowing what God will do brought me to a new place of hovering – hovering between the known and the unknown. Paradox is a place where we are very uncomfortable and where God is right at home . . . It’s a place Jesus visits in the garden of Gethsemane, and his prayer there provides the perfect way for humans to hover . . . There is a way for us to be honest about our hope for particular outcomes and at the same time to trust that God is good and powerful regardless of how the prayer is answered.’

I’m feel particularly aware of discomfort and tension this week, especially with the death of Patrick Lyoya just a few blocks from church. Tension between the terrible pain expressed in the march on Saturday and our joyful procession with palm branches on Sunday; tension between what we long for for our community and the brokenness that exists in it. I’m longing for hope and I’m afraid.

Jesus’ prayer in the garden is ‘please take this cup from me’ and also ‘not my will but yours be done.’ And I haven’t really thought about it as a model for our prayer before, but it is. Both parts of it. The part where Jesus prays for what he wants – the cup to pass – and the part where he prays for God’s will to be done. It’s a hard and scary prayer, because of course, we know that the cup didn’t pass and that God’s will was done and it meant death before resurrection. And I don’t know how to untangle how this might relate to what’s just happened in our city, or what’s happening in our world. It feels hard to trust that God’s will might somehow be done in all the suffering around and within us.

But I’m hearing in this a deep invitation to pray, to pray for what we want, to be honest with God with our hopes and our desperation, with our longings for ourselves and our loved ones and our city and world, to somehow express and entrust these things to God, AND to hold on to and trust that God is good and powerful regardless of what happens. To pray for what we want and to pray that God’s will be done.

Sometimes it’s hard for me to pray for what I want, because I’m afraid it won’t happen. And sometimes I’m afraid to pray for God’s will be done, because I’m afraid of what might happen. But I’m hearing an invitation to have the courage to pray for both. And as I look for this courage, I’m reminded of the song Open My Hands by Sarah Groves:

I believe in a blessing I don’t understand

I’ve seen rain fall on wicked and the just

Rain is no measure of his faithfulness

He withholds no good thing from us

No good thing from us, no good thing from us

 

I believe in a peace that flows deeper than pain

That broken find healing in love

Pain is no measure of his faithfulness

He withholds no good thing from us

No good thing from us, no good thing from us

 

I will open my hands, will open my heart

I will open my hands, will open my heart

I am nodding an emphatic yes

To all that You have for me

 

I believe in a fountain that will never dry

Though I’ve thirsted and didn’t have enough

Thirst is no measure of his faithfulness

He withholds no good thing from us,

No good thing from us, no good thing from us

 

I will open my hands, will open my heart

I will open my hands, will open my heart

I am nodding an emphatic yes

To all that You have for me

 

As we draw close to Good Friday and Easter, may God grant us courage to pray with Jesus – both for what we want, and that God’s will be done.